Say What?! Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day

Sometimes, life just has a way of all coming together, the perfect synchronicity of, say, a TGI Friday after a particularly grueling week in the trenches and a wonderfully bizarre celebration known as “Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day.”

Of course, you might be quick to point out that it’s also “International Mirth Month” or “National On-Hold Month” or that, in fact, this happens to be “National Protocol Officers Week” or that today is also the beginning of the annual four-day Schmeckfest.  And, yes, you would be right in noting any or all of those fine celebrations.   But if it’s Friday, after a particularly grueling week etc., it’s just got to be “Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day.”

There’s many a website out there (of course there are) to help you commemorate this distinguished holiday.  I’ve poked around a bit here and there, at those websites, in a few books and, even deep within my own not-nearly-repressed-enough memories and came up with some titles that might start you off to a weekend of healing and recuperation (unless you’re planning to head out to Schmeckfest).   Sit back, put the dogs up (or let them out, if you’re really in a novelty song mode), pop a favorite beverage, and contemplate the deep cultural resonance of the songs listed below.

————————————————————

If I Had a Nose Full of Nickels, I’d Sneeze Them All Atchoo!  (Lou Carter)

Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed (Kinky Friedman)

Flushed from the Bathroom of Your Heart (Johnny Cash)

Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off (Joe Nichols)

Being Drunk’s a Lot Like Loving You (Kenny Chesney)

Did I Shave My Legs for This? (Deanna Carter)

and in the ever-popular tradition of the country music reply song:

Did I Shave My Back for This? (Cledus T. Judd)

They Ain’t Makin Jews Like Jesus Anymore (Kinky Friedman)

White Trash Wedding (The Dixie Chicks)

Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth ‘Cause I’m Kissin’ You Goodbye (John Denver)

It’s Hard to Kiss the Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long (The Notorious Cherry Bombs)

————————————————————

You’ll notice that the title to the John Denver song was so good that Cynthia Heimel co-opted it for her collection of insightful, humorous essays on the ongoing tug-of-war between the sexes.  Click Denver’s name for a video performance of the song.

Finally, one song I’d like to add to this list of favorites from websites-in-the-know is decidedly old school, yet has a distinctly country twang to it, both in its ’tude and it’s performance.  A song as relevant today as it was 40 plus years ago: 

How Can I Miss You When You Won’t Go Away (Dan Hicks & His Hot Licks).

– Don