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Not the worst book I’ve ever read.

One of my coworkers told me that Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi of Jersey Shore fame recently wrote a book, so I picked it up out of sheer curiosity. I was expecting a total train wreck , but you know….it wasn’t that bad. Ghostwritten, implausible, silly, stereotypical, fluffy – yes. But still, not the worst book I’ve ever read.

Our story revolves around two cousins, short spunky Gia (this would be Snooki) and her cousin and best friend Bella, who have escaped from Brooklyn and rented a beach house in Jersey for the month of July. They settle in, and of course, hilarity ensues. Gia rescues a shark. Bella meets an Italian grandmother who loves Vin Diesel. Stuffed giraffes wear thongs. A cougar and her ex-husband are reunited. But buried in this mayhem, there’s a remarkable amount of, well, sound advice.

For example:

  • Don’t stay in an abusive relationship.
  • Don’t underestimate the power of fabric softener.
  • Alcohol won’t solve your problems.
  • Get a job.
  • Listen to your parents’ advice.
  • Don’t litter.
  • Be kind to animals.
  • A self-cleaning oven won’t clean your dishes.
  • Get an education.
  • Don’t let other people decide your future for you.

There’s even a wry bit of self-awareness on page 20, if that’s not too grand a claim to make for a book like this.

Who wouldn’t warm to the wall mural of a rising sun with pretty pinks, oranges, and yellows? Gia loved pink! It was her favorite color. If she could wear yellow and not look like a lemon, she’d do it every day. Orange? Meh. That was too close to her skin tone to pull off.

So would I recommend this book to you? Probably not. But it is what it is, and that’s okay. Not every book has to be the great American novel, after all. And as my coworker said, “Snooki’s got a good heart.”

– Amy

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