02 | September | 2014 | Eleventh Stack

“The days are long but the years are short”

What do you mean I start Kindergarten today? Didn’t you just have me?

This well-used saying can be found in parenting magazines, on blogs, and painted on wall hangings scattered all over Pinterest; and every parent knows why. In the middle of the day when children are crying and demanding attention; when the dirty and clean laundry piles have accidentally mixed together; when dishes are spilling out of the sink and it seems like there is no end in sight. There are moments when you can see the hours stretch out in front of you and can’t help but wonder if you will ever get caught up. Then, suddenly, you look down and are startled to realize that somewhere along the way a child has replaced your baby. Gone are the rolls of fat and coos of yesterday. Your baby is now all legs and elbows with her own opinions and likes and dislikes and you can’t help but wonder, “Where did the time go?”

Today my eldest child starts kindergarten. She has spent the last 5 years and 7 months with me, or being watched by my mom while I worked. This is the first time she will be away from home and in the care of others. Add to the equation a brand-new, two-month old baby sister and I am a little emotional about all of the life changes in our little family. I spent the summer avoiding the reality of the situation but last week, as I was reading an array of kindergarten themed picture books to my daughter, it finally dawned on me that we were no longer years or months away from it happening. Kindergarten was just a few short days. As I stared at the illustration of a little boy heading off to school, holding back tears and swallowing the lump in my throat, I tried in vain to figure out how 5 and a half years had disappeared right before my eyes.

Maybe tomorrow it will be a little easier.