Daily Archives: September 25, 2013

None For Me, Thanks

I am child-free.

By choice.

I made this decision long ago, possibly before I even realized it. Thankfully, my husband agreed. I realize this is not always the case, but it is an important choice worth considering and thinking about.

When I was a teen, I babysat but I just never really liked taking care of children and found the attention required to give a child exhausting. My mother told me it was because they were “other people’s children” and that, when I had my own, I would feel differently.

Society pressures us, but especially women. Being Hispanic, my family didn’t understand but eventually came to accept our decision. I have never felt that so-called maternal urge, if there is such a thing.

Then, when I was 23, I met a woman who was happily married without children. She finally put into words what I could not. It was just something she and her husband did not want to experience and they were content with each other and  did not want to change that.

It was a revelation.

There is a financial cost I did not want either. Did you know that one of the highest bankruptcy predictors is whether or not someone has children? When I asked for financial advice, the first thing a good friend told me was, “don’t have kids.”

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Every so often, this topic pops up in the media; Time magazine recently did a cover story about it. And like money, religion, politics, and food, it’s very controversial.

There are several books in the library on this life-changing decision. If you or someone you know is trying to decide, these might be helpful.

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Two is Enough : a Couple’s Guide to Living Childless by Choice by Laura Scott

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Complete Without kids : an Insider’s Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance by Ellen Walker

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No Kidding : Women Writers on Bypassing Parenthood

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Beyond Motherhood : Choosing a Life Without Children by Jeanne Safer

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~Maria, who loves being the favorite aunt

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