Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh announces that as of today, Thursday, April 1, 2010, the Library’s name has been changed to Three Rivers at the Point Casino Carnegie Library. The Library is pleased to partner with Three Rivers at the Point Casino and will continue to provide the same great services you have come to know, love, and expect.
The decision to change the Library’s name is based on many factors, but the most important is money. The Library needs more money to operate at current service levels. Three Rivers at the Point Casino will provide revenue in exchange for a few small concessions, the first being a name change. Selling naming rights is commonplace. Everybody’s doing it, so why shouldn’t we? Pittsburgh has PNC Park, Heinz Field, Consol Energy Center, and the First Niagara Pavilion, which used to be the Post Gazette Pavilion and before that Coca-Cola Starlake Amphitheatre. People are even selling naming rights to themselves. Remember the woman who sold her forehead for $10,000?
Another new Library practice, inspired our partnership with the Casino, is the Book Hold Roulette. When you add your name to the waiting list for a book, you’ll never know when you’re going to get it. Each morning, Library staff will spin the wheel and luck will determine who gets the book! Makes the book hold process a lot more exciting, doesn’t it?
Also beginning today, when you sign on to use the Library’s computers, you’ll pull a slot machine handle on the side of the computer to enter your barcode number, and if you get 3 cherries, you’ll be allowed to use the computer! If not, you’ll have to keep trying until you come up with a winning combination.
Now when you find the book you are looking for on our shelves, as your reward you’ll hear the tinkling sound of change falling into a slot machine tray. You won! You found the book! Congratulations!
I hope you realized by now that today is April Fool’s Day, and this scenario is fiction, not fact. But, dear reader, potentially reprehensible circumstances could become real if the Library does not find sources of consistent, sustainable revenue. The state budget promises once again to reduce Library funding levels. Financial support from the RAD is always tied to income generated by the extra 1% sales tax in Allegheny County, and therefore cannot be guaranteed to increase or even remain the same from year to year. The Library needs your assistance. Please visit CLP’s web page to find out how you can help.