Have some turkeys with your turkey.

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It would be a shame to miss a good movie while passed out in front of the television after Thanksgiving dinner – so why not sleep through a bad movie instead? That way you know you’re not really missing anything.

And where does one find these horrible movies, since no one wants to break down and buy them or admit that they already own them? Why, the Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh’s Film & Audio Department, of course!

So without further ado, here’s a selection of our worst movies, in order from most to least horrible.  I compiled it with the help of with the help of Rotten Tomatoes and their delightful list of the 100 worst reviewed films of all time. Check them out, and do yourself a favor – don’t watch them.

                

• Crossover (2007) – Noah is a naturally talented basketball player determined to get through medical school on a basketball scholarship. His best friend Tech has less lofty ambitions: he wants to get his GED and win an underground street ball game against his arrogant rival, Jewelz.
• Twisted (2003) – Detective Jessica Sheppard is on the prowl for a serial killer whose victims have one thing in common – her. Suffering from a series of bizarre blackouts, Sheppard must uncover the killer before her partner pins her as the prime suspect.
• Godsend (2004) – Paul and Jessie are devastated when their 8-year-old son dies. A fertility expert offers them an opportunity to resurrect their boy through an illegal cloning procedure, but they don’t know that the doctor’s hidden agenda will have horrifying repercussions when their “new” son passes his eighth birthday.
• Epic Movie (2007) – Four not-so-young troubled orphans trapped in a bizarre chocolate factory escape to a magical world of fake snow and genuine sorcery. In order to survive, the hapless quartet must join forces with pirates, wizards and a wise-but-horny lion in order to defeat the evil White Bitch!
• The Covenant (2007) – Caleb, Reid, Sims, and Pogue, descendants of the founding families of Ipswich, Massachusetts, are teenagers who have it all. This includes witch-like powers they inherited from their ancestors. At the age of 18, which Caleb will hit first, they will “ascend” into their mature powers.
• Christmas with the Kranks (2004) – When only child Blair leaves the family nest, Luther and Nora decide to book a cruise and skip Christmas altogether. Their decision to boycott tradition has the whole neighborhood in an uproar.
• The Whole Ten Yards (2004) – Former hit man Jimmy “The Tulip” Tudeski has retired and is living a quiet life of cooking and housekeeping in Mexico. Unfortunately, Cynthia (the wife of Jimmy’s former neighbor Oz) has been kidnapped by the Hungarian mafia, who want to settle an old score with the retired killer.
• BloodRayne (2005) – Rayne, a half human-half vampire, strives to avenge her mother’s murder by her father, Kagan, King of the Vampires.
• Because I Said So (2007) – Worried that her youngest daughter Millie will end up alone, overbearing mother Daphne meddles in her daughter’s love life until she ends up doing all wrong things for all the right reasons – and all in the name of motherly love.
• The Perfect Man (2005) – As a teenager, Holly Hamilton is tired of moving every time her mom, Jean, has another personal meltdown involving second-rate guys. To distract her mother from her latest bad choice, Holly creates an imaginary secret admirer who will romance Jean and boost her shaky self-esteem.

That’s quite a list, isn’t it? Let’s hope that it doesn’t give you indigestion. Happy Thanksgiving!

- Amy

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